Thoughts in words

 Wow, blogger has changed a lot. I don't even recognised it anymore. I haven't been blogging for awhile. I wonder if people still blogs. I have moved on to journalling at some point but I guess that did not went well too cause I stopped again.. Yes, again. I have tried to start journalling twice. Honestly speaking, it did helped me when I was going through some bad times. And it's a little bit more personal, as I get older, I tend to appreciate privacy. Blogs are not private at all. Well, I could set it to private, but then again, it is on the internet. Somebody can still hack into a private blog and leak all the juicy stuff out. Right, as if I'm typing some top secret informations in here to and tempt a hacker to do that. 

    Why am I here? I don't know. I just felt like typing something. Recently, I felt so compelled to type. Well, XM recently just bought me a nifty keyboard and my fingers are in love. I even got motivated to work more on coding. *laughs*. I am currently not typing on the said keyboard but on our Macbook instead. It's not bad. Well, I just lifted the layer of keyboard protector and it feels so much better now. Ouuhhh.. This keyboard ain't half bad either, I love me a slim keyboard. 

    I think my English is deteriorating. I mean I am not talking in English at home, heck even if I do, I'm not using perfect English grammar. And at work, I don't talk much either. I'm mostly dealing with codes and more technical stuffs so grammar are not really needed. I think my speaking is even worse. Honestly, I feel kinda bad. I used to be able to emulate how an American speak but now, I just sound more like a typical Chinese trying to speak good English. I wonder why, I mean I don't even speak a lot of English back in the days. Maybe it's because I'm rarely watching English shows nowadays. More to anime... So maybe my Japanese is better now? Hah, who am I kidding. 

Hah, I'm having so much fun here. It's like I'm talking to myself by typing all these down. It's so funny, sad and weird at the same time. I guess I'm starting to appreciate loneliness (which is not a bad thing to be honest).

Speaking of which... I think I'm going to get a bit more serious here on out since we're at that topic. I think back in the days of my "youth", I cared more about how people was treating me or getting really envious of people having really good time with their friends. How do I put it? Hmm.. Like a great sadness and envy envelopes me whenever I see somebody posting some photos showing that they are having a jolly good time with their friends. That's because I rarely have somebody who I can do that with (other than my boyfriend). Honestly, I do feel that way SOME times even now. But I don't let it take over my mind like it used to. I grew to accept how things are and learn to appreciate them. Truth to be told, I don't really like hanging out a lot either. That explains why I don't really have much friends to hang out with. I am very picky with the people I choose to hang out with too. It's tiring to socialise ya know. It takes effort to think of something to talk and to please the other person. And it's super rare to be able to find somebody who I can be totally myself and just speak nonsense. 

Speaking of that, I think I have multiple personalities, like I behave differently when I am out with different people. I don't know how to explain it. It's like... my brain just automatically choose to behave in a certain way depending on who I am with. Most of the time, I think I just behave in a way that pleases the other person? And not like.. do something that can cause myself to be on their bad side.. At least I try to. It's so weird. I realised this at some point, but I couldn't stop myself from behaving that way. And some times I felt so embarrassed after I did something out of character then my brain would replay that scene again and again and I just feel really bad in the end (for myself). Some times, I talk like an airhead, but funny thing is, I realised that but I continued on anyway cause I know some people think I'm more approachable or likeable that way. Then some other times, I can be haughty and talk less, when I don't want to get close to the person. It's just weird when I think about it, but what's even weird is, doing it without realising it then AFTER that I began to analyse my own actions. Wow, this is becoming so creepy when I am typing this all down. Maybe it's just instinct to win brownie points with people. 

I wonder how I am in other people's mind. Like how they interpret me. Since I myself felt like I behave differently. But at least I do know how the true me is like. Cause it is very tiring to be "not" me, it's like I am constantly acting when I am around people and it just tires me out. Maybe that's an introvert thing. Therefore, in my recent years, I prefer to be... alone or at home. Where I do not need to think how to act or what to say. I just.... do whatever and say whatever that comes to my mind. Like right now actually, in this random post of mine.

Covid is such a weird time. It sucks being stuck in this small country which is actually also a city. I yearn for my time with nature, but the closest thing I can get here is man-made hiking trails. Hah.. After this is all over, I want to have my time with mother nature. Recently I have been watching this anime about camping in Japan. It's called Yuru Camp. It's a chill anime, I need a chill anime once in awhile. Too much hardcore theme will break my brain. Oh, and about this anime, it kind of makes me want to try camping. Was thinking of maybe trying to camp here first in Singapore even though the weather is humid af here. But gotta start somewhere right? Before camping in the cold 🥶.  

Okay, I think that's enough for today. If you're reading this, you're weird or creepy. Are you that interested about what I have to say?? Then again, the only main goal I am posting this to the public is to let other people read it. Is this like reverse psychology or something? Okay, enough of all this philosophical nonsense. 

Diving Trip Cebu March '19 | Thresher shark highlight

Yes, I have officially stopped blogging. I feel like I shared too much about my life. Funny for me to say that, because I am still posting this thing right now. Just thought I would at least share the travel vlogs (which I did not make for this trip, but my friends did!) so that I can look back at it when I feel like it. I would like to share more details but 5 months have already passed and this trip was kind of a package diving plan trip + canyoneering tour in Cebu.


September & October '18

// Happening in September & October // 
clayart class
nobuo uematsu earthbound papas concert
penang weekend trip
f1 singapore
iceland trip
short hair

I've been interested in clay art for awhile now, but I've only really done like a few items before. Mostly following some youtube videos. I still have a bunch of clay in my drawer from few years ago. 
I saw this promotion for clay art class on Fav app at Flora Clay I thought it was a good idea for a date. Sorta. Since we can do it together with proper guidance and more tools.

Behold, our creation. He was really into though. Like very quiet and just did whatever, and it's like he is in his own world. LOL. 

And on the same day, we went to Nobuo Uematsu Sensei's concert! I've always wanted to attend one especially the orchestra version but since he is personally performing this time, I cannot pass this chance up. The performance was magical although most of the songs played are battle songs. 

Did a short weekend trip to Penang with friends! It's also been awhile since we went on a trip together. Thought it might be a good idea to spend some time for a food trip since we never been there together. I kept a Penang Food List from 2014 but I am afraid it is a bit tad outdated. There's so many new cafes popping up and also many old places that are yet to be explored. But in those short 2 days, I can't possibly review much places.

This picture was taken in a hidden cafe called Whisk. The only thing worth mentioning about in this cafe is that well... it's quite "instagrammable". It's good if you like taking ootd kind of picture. The deco was subtle and homey. Unfortunately, as for the desserts and drinks, it was really bad. They do look nice (even the illustrations on the menu), but it tasted borderline bad. 

Second snack/dessert place we visited was at 92 Armenian Street serving all kinds of food with bird's nest. If you like heritage kind of atmosphere, this is a good place to go. However, it can be quite pricey! Since the main star is "bird's nest". Again, food was also just mediocre but at least they are serving something different. The cafe can be very crowded too but they do have a lot of seats. 

I think the coolest place we've been to is this hidden bar called Manchu. I simply love how they partition and deco-ed this place. It reminded me a lot of the old chinese movies that I watched before. Even the waitress and waitresses are dressed in traditional outfits like Cheong Sam. There's also a live band here. It's quite difficult to get a good place there so I suggest people to go early. I didn't take too much pictures there as I didn't think it would do this place much justice. So, it's really a lot better if you go there and see for yourself!

It was a short weekend trip but I think I needed that short break at somewhere else rather than being cooped up in the house. 

Suprised le bf by buying both of us passes to see F1. He is a big F1 fan. And I sort of bought this because of some argument whereby I wasn't showing enough care for him. HAHAHA. Way to go Joey for remembering the bad stuffs. I have a really good memory in finding faults. 

Our first F1 event I guess. And gosh, Dua Lipa was there to perform. I love her hair that it actually inspired me to cut my hair short. 

Okay, some short random notes in this section. Regarding the muscat that I found in Dondondonki. I was so excited when I saw them. Just looking at them reminded me of the sweet juicy and fragrant smell I once taste and experienced in Japan. It costed like around 30$ for one bunch. And you know what, that was a waste of money. These taste like grapes! It's not muscat at all. I've been conned. *cry* Never ever buying muscat again outside of Japan. 

So, Iceland trip happened in the month of October. And within those 2 weeks that we were there, we only manage to catch the Aurora on one night. Luckily we did, I would be so sad if we didn't at all. I just posted two vlogs so far. I am not sure if I will write a blog post for it. But let's see. Maybe I will just do a master post and put all the vlogs there. 

And this also happened on a random fine day. I have thought of cutting my hair short for quite a long time now. But didn't quite find a suitable time and place to do so. I don't know which saloon to go to. Then, I went along with my boyfriend to his usual saloon for his haircut. And there and then, I decided to chop it off. The hairdresser did made a fuss about it and didn't really want to cut it for me but I manage to persuade her to do it. Well, not persuade, basically just made her do it. The result were great. Even she said so, admiring her own work. 

I think I look really chic right now. Lol. The only downside is that I have to blow-dry my hair if I don't wait it to curl the wrong way. 
Today's cat special, only Grey's photos. Because he is the silly one. Although Bianca is also very cute but I couldn't manage to take photos of her being so adorable. Enjoy!

July & August '18

// Happening in July & August // 
perhentian diving trip
blonde again
rainforest lumina
keto + detox diet, after diet
taking up journaling and calligraphy
games & books
the lion king musical
broga hill
sam at 8q

Without realizing it, I am making this as a bi-monthly update.

Hong Kong | Food Trip, mostly

Trip date \\ 31st May - 4th June 2018
Destination \\ Hong Kong

'Tis was my first time in Hong Kong this time. Honestly, I do not have a strong desire to explore Hong Kong because of it's notorious culture of being rude to tourists. Though I have to say, it was so much better than I have expected, maybe time has changed HK and it has mellow out? We didn't experience anything bad in our trip. No bad-mouth waiter or waitresses scolding us, but maybe just a friendly banter with one or two. The city itself, it has a certain character I have to say. Tough gangster-ish vibe that I often see in Cantonese movie. Other than that, it is quite similar to Singapore I feel. The bus and MTR.. and of course the crowd rush.

I didn't take much photos on this trip, therefore I can squeeze my whole 5 days trip in one single post today. But I did take a lot of videos and I made vlogs out of it. Vlog is kind of like my new thing that I am doing right now whenever I am travelling but I don't talk in these videos. I still feel quite uncomfortable talking and explaining to air while holding my phone out. And I think I sound funny, not nice to hear. HAHAHA.