Today, I'm writing something more personal. It never dawns on me to write it down or to even express it freely because of the sensitivity of the subject. Plus, the matter... it depends on how you look at it. Maybe it's my attitude problem or just my luck in meeting people, which is just as good as a bad egg.

The reason why I'm writing this down right now is because I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about why it happened because of some accusation that was spoken (well, actually written) to me. It pierce right through my heart because it didn't came from a stranger but from a very well loved person of mine. I never was polite around people I'm close to, so I was brutally straightforward especially when I'm angry. That is just the real me, I never thought it was a problem until this person voiced it out. It wasn't the first time I'm being told of it. This got me thinking, maybe I should just let things go and don't bother about it so that I don't blurt out unnecessary things. But much to my dismay, I always fail to control myself because I don't even realize it when I'm being rude. It's already a part of me for a long long time. This is not my main point though. The statement following this reminder is much more terrifying to me.

"Don't you feel weird when you have no bff that can talk with you everyday and go out shopping with you?" 

It kills me a little inside every time I read this sentence. That question sounded like... I'm a loner and a person who is hated by all. I am indeed a difficult person to talk to because I tend to stay as a distant friend. I don't talk much about myself, I don't share things about myself often and I just don't have any fun topics to talk about around people. Unless, they are the one who is making the conversation. Why am I like this?

I don't intend to personally explain this to that person because I will be writing a long explanation which it won't probably be read. Also, I've explained it before and I was given quite a lecture, to tell me to see the world in a different light. To be much more of a talker like this person and etc. Basically, to be not me, in short.

This got me thinking so much. Maybe this person don't really understand me really well even though I said the person was close to me. Even though I've told stories about myself, about the people I met in the past and how I was treated and how I treated them. Not all friendships can be sustained and not all people that you meet can be someone who you can get really close to. I can say we are two very different people and the people that we meet is also very different. My life experience is never shared but is my own only. After reading the question... I felt so angry, upset, and extremely lonely.

Yes, it's true. In my current life right now, I don't have a very good friend that I could talk to everyday and share my everyday little problems to. Nobody who I can invite to go shopping with me like the other girls that you usually see hanging in a bunch in the shopping malls. Why? I used to have these friends but it ended quickly. Girls are extremely difficult beings. Even though we don't fight, the mental fights we engaged into are much more terrifying than fist fights.

I have really good high school friends. Like every other teenage girls, there must be some drama going on at a point in high school. I can tell you I wasn't the cool kid that everyone adored. I was the short and chubby spectacle girl that everyone ignored. Being a quiet person and a people pleaser is not something to be proud of too. It's like I'm invisible. I tried to be with the cool kids, and I did but I was made fun off and even bullied. Despite that, I changed at some point when I got some guts to defend myself. The ones that didn't like me before became my best friends who I could really talked to. I was never the one to be close to many people. I learnt in a hard way, that you can't actually please everyone. Not many liked me too, because I don't engage in conversation with people and always stay away from people that I didn't really like (which is a lot of them). I did have true friends, I still consider them the same as well right now. But then everyone was busy with their own lives after graduating from high school. We went to different universities or college, we meet new people and we were so occupied with the new people that we meet. I did keep in touch with a few but not much. I wonder why, some eventually forget me also and never ask how I was doing, and the same goes to me too (but now I try). Maybe I wasn't really that much of a "good friend" to them as I thought I was.

At the beginning of my university life, there wasn't much people I could talk to. I made friends with a lot of guys in my batch and we hang out, we talk and we share our opinions. But there is always an invisible barrier that I myself build (I think). I've also meet really crazy people but then I got really tired of it, it was very tiring to keep up with the creative minds. There is constantly a debate on random things but doesn't really need to make sense kind of conversation. I did have fun at the beginning but it took a toll on me. I decided to find my own kind which I could probably be better with. Then I found a crazy gang that I can be with. We had a lot of fun but there is always a problem. When you gradually know a person, you get to know the person in full. That means you'll get to see their bad side too. I'm not a very patient person so if I find that attitude is constantly frustrating me, I tend to get away from it so that I don't have to deal with it. After awhile, I cease to hang out with these people that was once my best friends. It was doing more damage than good. I meet some really funny people. It's weird. One day we're talking like it was the best thing in our life, and the next day we were like strangers. I tried my best to be patient and treat them how I wanted to be treated by others. But in the end, all I got was ignorance. The once best friends have already forgotten about my existence and even became a villain in my life.

My life is full of surprising people. One moment I could like do anything with them and the next,they'll give you all sorts of trouble. I always thought that if I treated a person kindly, then they'll treat you the same. But no. That's far from the truth. Not everyone is that great of a person. People eventually will use you and throw you away like rubbish if you are not much help at all. I learnt that from the hard way, and today, I learn to keep away from troublesome people. I do meet really nice people that I can talk to but they have their own close friends that they rather be with than me because of the way I am. I am not friendly enough? There is also some friends I still keep in contact with, not much but I still can tell them everything and vice versa except the fact again, they have their own lives and own cliques too. There is also some people that is very self-centred, which I really can't stand. These people will only ignore what you said to them and concentrate on their own problems. So, eventually it's a one way conversation which isn't much fun at all.

Having friends are tiring but it is also rewarding. It still depends on the people you meet.

Maybe I'm just unlucky and maybe it's just me. The way I am right now. The way that I used to be. Maybe I like to be alone. It's better, it's not so complicated and it's not so tiring. I don't need to face these problems anymore. But nobodys want to be alone. I am trying my best to make more friends but not close ones even though I want to. I don't show myself easily to people and I'm indeed also a difficult person to talk to. Maybe I'm the root of all evil after all because of the way I'm thinking right now.

But to say that I don't have any bffs who I can talk to? I beg to differ. You have absolutely no right to judge me because of that. You just don't understand me well and you're basically comparing your life with mine, which is totally different. It's also a sad thing because it tells so much about your understanding of me, which is not really that deep..

By this, does that mean that I should hate myself for being me? Should I despise the way I am right now? Because I'm not someone who can say things which can charm everyone in the room and who can instantly make friends? Should everyone in the world especially the ones like me, changed to become these clones that is so perfect?

I already am feeling dejected at myself because I'm constantly thinking I'm not good enough and I'm always admitting that. I want to run away from my troubles and also the very person that question about my existence and the way I behave so that I don't have to deal with them. It's my problem, so just leave it to me. I don't need any comment about it.

I don't need anyone to judge me.

11/12/13 Soonen's Birthday Steamboat & Coffea Coffee

Another really late post that I haven't have the chance to sit down and write properly. As I'm typing these down, I'm not in my home actually but in le boyfriend's home. That's because when I'm in Cyberjaya, it's either I study for midterm or packing my stuff and travel back to Shah Alam home. 

This year, we celebrated Soonen's birthday in his own home. It's not a bad idea to have a steamboat with friends. 
Shopping task is assigned to Thum, Ivan and me (I'm just an observer). Went to Seri Kembangan's pasar borong for the fresh foods.

The night to have a feast and truly a feast we had! Apparently this was too much for 12 people. We assigned a RM25 budget for every head and we actually bought quite a number of food that we couldn't finish. We even bought beef, and apparently it's not really a good idea for steamboat unless they are skillfully cut to thin slices but none of us are pro butcher. 

Look at all the comfortable faces. Hahaha.

He looks like he's using his "qi gong" to blow out the candles. 

Group photos with the birthday boy. 
And then we played mahjong and blackjack until everyone went back or fell asleep. Everyone was invited to sleepover but then some of us need to work even though it was a holiday the next day (Sultan Selangor's birthday). In the end, it was just me, Xiao Ming and Pwen that stayed over.

Lunch at Restaurant Well Gourmet. Was craving for some fried laksa. 

And we randomly chose a place for a piece of cake.
Coffea Coffee, SS15.


The best Salted Caramel Cheesecake I've ever tasted! The birthday boy liked it very much too. Will be coming back for more.

And some other beverages. They have quite a lot of selections there. They even serve Peanut Butter latte and Green Tea Frap which were really good. Frankly I think it's better than Starbucks which is a bit overrated. For coffee lovers, this is a must-go cafe! 

Coffea Coffee
A-10, Jalan SS15/4D, Subang Jaya, Selangor.
Opening Hours| Sunday - Thursday: 9am - 12am
Friday - Saturday: 9am - 2am

Apparently, they also have a branch in Sunway Pyramid. I didn't know that and now that I have.. Yay! Another place that I could chill!

5/12/13 Mission Q!

Wow, this post is so overdue. 

I'm just gonna post some pictures and stuff from that day. Took our dinner at Asia Cafe before we head out to Mission Q for our first real-life puzzle adventure!

I think it's a growing trend. If you've heard of Escape Room then you'll probably know what this is. Mission Q is similar to that although I have not personally tried the one at Escape Room but I guess they have the same concept except one has more franchise. 

So far, there's 5 rooms to play and they have different difficulties level. 
RM25 for student. RM30 for a normal adult.
Quite pricey if you ask me, but it's really fun and you will get addicted to it once you've tried it!

The three stooges posing for the camera. LOL


Group members of the night!
Pei Wen, Me, SoonEn, Ivan, Thum, and Hau Loong

Although it's blur, I think it's good. Because I look ugly in the other pictures. 

A complimentary Polaroid picture from Mission Q. They'll offer to take one after every game for every team. 

That night we went for 2 rounds of different rooms because it was so fun and something different that we don't normally face in our daily life. We were given a time frame of an hour to solve the puzzles and try to get out. In the first room, we successfully came out in 55 minutes but in the second one, we manage to only solved 75% of the game. But the owner was kind enough to let us solve all of the puzzles before we leave because it was the last slot of the day and we were almost finished. Normally, they would just ask you to stop and come out of the room unless you're really close to escaping the room.

 If you're into solving puzzles and you want to do it with your bare hands instead of tapping on to your phone screen or with a mouse, then you will love this. Apparently, I was having so much fun with the puzzles and I wished I could play all of the room if I have the time... and money! There's so many thing that we've missed when trying to solve them even though they look simple, it's pretty hard to figure them out because most of the time, we thought of them in a too complicated way. 
And also I think I went a little overboard with the game, that I became a very impatient person who shouts at her teammates. LOL! RAWR!

Hoping to go there again and solve the other rooms!

DV Ristorante Pizzeria with StarHero

Now, another wonderful time for food review with StarHero! 
This time we were invited to DV Ristorante Pizzeria. The restaurant serves Italian food as the name suggest it. It was actually featured in TimeOut KL so I was pretty excited for it. And truly, they never disappoint. 

It was very quiet that night and I mean around the area. I like the change of pace because normally it would take me awhile to find a parking but not that day. Perfect if you plan to have a quiet dinner with family and close friends. It actually feels very homely too with all the Christmas decoration.

Campari Spritz (Campari, Prosecco, Soda)
Fizzy refreshments before we start. I like berry flavoured drink. image

Focaccia and Grissini Bread
Pre-starters breads for every table. Focaccia is the flat-oven baked Italian bread which is so soft and fluffy and were so delicious while they are warm. Grissini on the other hand is the stick-like crunchy dry bread which I adore too. 

Pizza served with mushrooms and potato! No, they are not pineapples. 

Prosciutto e Funghi, RM24
Tomato sauce, mozzarella, mushrooms and ham

Caprese, RM22
Buffalo mozzarella served with tomatoes and basil

Quattro Formaggi, RM 28
Mozzarella, gorgonzola, parmiggiano reggiano and assiago

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and I mean all of the pizzas
The pizza are all thin crusted and not like our normal Malaysian Pizza Hut styled. Honestly I love the Italian pizza to death, the dough is just nice and the side was very crunchy too. I couldn't pick which one was the best because all of them taste so so so so so good! The pizzas are definitely to die for!

Beef Tartare Bruschetta, RM6/pc
My first time eating raw beef. Although the idea doesn't seem appealing, I tried it and can't say I hate it. It doesn't have the bloody taste that I was anticipating. It was actually pretty good.

Mushroom Bruschetta, RM4/pc
Mushrooms are a favourite of mine. 

 Tomato Bruschetta, RM4/pc
Didn't like this out of the three bruschettas because it tasted very plain. That's just me though because I don't really like raw tomato.

Lamb Meatballs in Sugo al Pomodoro*
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The meatballs are so juicy and succulent! One bite and it was all just soft meat going into my mouth. Definitely the best meatball I've ever tried!

Eggplant Parmigiana, RM14
Layered slices of fried eggplant, tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese
If you love aubergine, this is the right food for you. 

Fettuccine Aglio Olio e Peperoncino*
My favorite pasta among the three. The pasta are all very well cooked so that it wasn't too hard or too soft. 

Spaghetti allo Scoglio, RM28
Mussels, prawns and squid tossed in tomato sauce
This tasted a little fishy for me but didn't seem to bothered anyone except me. The were very generous with the seafood though.

Linguine al Pesto, RM18
Homemade pesto sauce with parmesan, pine nuts and potatoes
Yums! The white chunks are potatoes by the way. 

Braised Beef Cheek, RM52
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Slow cooked beef cheek with baby potatoes
The beef cheek is actually braised for four hours before it is turned to a delicious main dish. The meat is so soft, it will literally melt-in-your-mouth. The superstar of the night! Praises were sung around the table for this.

Peppercorn crusted Fillet of Tuna*
I don't like fishy taste but this is an exception. It tasted more like black and white pepper and the tuna is very juicy too.

Chicken Scloppine with Wild Mushrooms, RM28
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Organic chicken scaloppini, served with porcini mushroom parsley sauce
Ridiculously tender chicken meat was used and the mushroom sauce was just lovely. 

Traditional home made tiramisu

Vanilla ice cream drowned in espresso 
I wish there were more! Totally love the finishing dessert. But the after effect was severe because of my intolerance to caffeine, the affogato made me sleepless at night. 

Food marked with * is either not included in the menu or they are going to add them in soon. You can order it if you want even though it's not in the menu. 

The food taste amazing!
There's no such thing as a full mark but it's almost there! No wonder it was listed as one of the Top 20 Italian Restaurant. Definitely the place to be if you're searching for a place to have some real Italian cuisine. 

DV Ristorante Pizzeria 
77 Jalan Setiabakti, Bukit Damansara, 
Kuala Lumpur. 
(Same row as Decanter)
Phone | 03-2098-2001
Opening Hours | Monday - Sunday : 12pm-12am.

Not much picture taken that night because I was using my iPhone again since my mum took her camera to South Korea with her. 

Hau Loong was my plus one for the night. 
And here's Andrea posing for the camera, asian-style. Haha! 

A picture with the delightful owner, Frankie

Finally, a group photo for the night. 
Thanks to Grace for the picture!